Monday, November 30, 2009

:: Officially Mommy ::






Yes.. Akhirnya aku telah selamat bersalin :)

Terlampau banyak bende nak update.. tp, disebabkan kesibukan melayan anak bujang ku seorang ni, rasanyer better make it short and simple..

Sunday, November 15, 2009

:: EyesOfGrace

Tinggal 3 hari saje lagik before perutku dibelah oleh doctor..

Apart of me, rasa sedih jerk sebab lepas ni, perut dah tak buncit dah.. dah takde baby bum.. tak boleh bawak my baby pegi everywhere I go.. But, luckily, we made a good decision to capture my pregnancy dengan EyesOfGrace.. Yerp, picture is worth a thousand smile. Now, I know, bila2, rasa rindu saat mengandung, boleh tgk balik gambar2 ni semua..


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Thanks Kak Zubye for all the gorgeous pictures! (ini bukan bermakna saya kata saya gorgeous, ye.. ehehehhe)

To all my frens, eyesofgrace is highly recommended! ! !

p/s: banyak sebenarnyer nak tulis.. tp tgh penat.. :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

:: Caesarean? ::

I believe most of mommy berharap dapat bersalin normal, regardless how much pain she need to suffer. Tak kesah rasa sakit contraction, experience pecah air ketuban, tension dgn nurse yang asyik datang check dah bukak berapa cm, yadayada. Bak kata orang, janji orang tgh sakit bersalin tak boleh dipercayai. Yerla, time tengah sakit2 tu, selalu nyer, mommy yg tgh dalam kesakitan tu rasa tobat taknak beranak lagik.. Tapi, once the baby is out, hilang sume rasa sakit tu. Yes, I don’t have the experience, tapi, I can understand perasaan diorang.

Nampaknyer, aku takkan dapat merasa all those contraction, pecah air ketuban, tunggu bukak 10cm etc. Memang dah ditakdirkan that I’ve to go thru C-sect for my first baby. Apa nak buat, baby still breech even dah 38 weeks. Kepala dia tak boleh engaged most probably sebab tali pusat duk kat leher dier. According to the doctor, yang lain2 sumenyer OK.. air ketuban cukup, tali pusat kat atas, tekanan tali pusat n air ketuban ok, baby movement pon normal. Maybe, it’s just my fate to experience c-sect.

Waktu mula2 dapat tau tu, mmg sedih sangat. Sampai terlintas dalam kepala, kenapa aku tak boleh bersalin normal macam orang lain? Aku banyak buat dosa dgn hubby ker? Pastu, rasa takut pulak datang. Selamat ker operate ni. Will my baby survive? Will I survive? Then, datang pulak all those negative thoughts (typical me yang sangat pessimistic) Cepat2 isytifar.. buang all those negative thoughts jauh2.

Then, I start do a lot of readings n research pasal breech baby, c-sect and all. Just to prepare my mind, so that, I can expect what’s going to happen and gain relevant knowledge. Baca what’s the pros and cons. Baca apa2 yang perlu prepared, macam mana nak jaga dalam pantang, apa yg perlu dibuat or avoided, macam mana nak BF baby after c-sect. In fact, I watch video of c-sect operation so that time dalam OT tu, I know apa yg doctor tengah buat. Ramai cakap, kenapa tengok video2 tu, tak takut ker? But, for me, daripada aku fikir bukan2, baik aku tau exactly what’s happening, betul tak?

My frens n family pon banyak assist utk menguatkan semangat aku. Apa2 rasa doubt jerk, aku tanyer kawan2 (u know who u are) yang pernah undergo c-sect ni. Pastu, if apa2, I just call my mum and ask sbb mak pernah kene operate sekali. Pastu, time rasa down and takut datang, hubby tanpa jemu pujuk aku n cakap everything gonna be OK. Yes, I owe my hubby, my family and friends a lot! Kalau tak, mesti aku dah gelabah giler dah.

Then, lastly, after all that, I start to accept the fact that aku akan bersalin thru caesarean. In fact, sometimes aku bersyukur. At least, awal2 lagi I know that kene operate, instead of emergency Caesar sbb complication time delivery tu. I also can plan my work schedule, boleh properly handover my work to my officemate before cuti bersalin, boleh inform all relevant party that I’m going for maternity leave on this date till that date. Plus, tak perlu risau2, bila contraction tu datang time tgh driving ke, tgh sorang2 kat rumah ker. Tak perlu rasa sakit contraction (given the fact that aku mmg tak tahan sakit, skit2 nanges). Tak payah kelam kabut packing and pegi spital if dah sampai time bersalin. Disebabkan caesarean yg pre-scheduled ni, I can totally plan my day (soooooo me!!!).

And yes, saya bukannyer tak takut nak bersalin secara operate and bukannya taknak normal, but, saya redha dengan takdir. Saya tau, Allah lebih mengetahui…

Doakan saya yerk…

p/s: Saya akan bersalin di Pusat Perubatan Az-zahrah on 18 Nov (sebulan lepas my birthday..yeay) at 8am. Masuk wad on 17 Nov, 10pm.